Dealing with December
“Christmas is cancelled!!” I screamed into the freezer as I threw a bag of frozen veggies on the floor. The kids ran to their room crying, the dogs hid in the corner, and my husband went into the pantry to hide and… “cool off” (aka, swear without an audience).
I wish I was telling you a story from years ago. But nope. This was last week. I made it all of 6 days into December before I was done. Maxed out.
How did I get here?
December used to be my favorite time of year. In my past lives, I’ve danced in Christmas Around the World at BYU, I’ve been Santa’s helper as a facilitator at Sub4Santa workshops, I’ve had Hallmark Christmas movie marathons, and I’ve reveled in sharing Christmas treats and carols with neighbors. I celebrate German Christmas traditions, US traditions, Mexican traditions, and Jewish traditions. I even have a double door closet in my basement dedicated solely to storing my holiday décor because who doesn’t want lighted garlands on every banister?
One year, when our family was young, I created a Christmas season bucket list with the intention of completing traditions every year like:
Drive around town and see all the lights
Visit a Christmas market
Tell Santa your Christmas wish
Make a snowman and have hot cocoa
Sing carols at an assisted living facility
Go to a Christmas concert
Send Christmas cards
Watch campy Christmas movies
Have a special formal Christmas dinner
Learn about the winter celebrations of another country (1 per week)
Bake Christmas goodies from scratch
Hold Advent with Papa every week
And the list goes on and on…
Even if you don’t celebrate Christmas, December is intense. There’s end of year work projects and goals to hit. There’re holiday parties for work, church, friends, and neighbors. There’s extra demands at school like end of term tests, recitals or performances, and huge project deadlines (for instance, there’s clay all over my kitchen counter right now because of a middle school history project). There are family obligations rife with travel and emotional labor. In our house there’s also football championships and the basketball season is just getting under way. December is so much.
The demands of this month can easily spiral out of control. And this isn’t the first year that the pressure got to me. And unfortunately, my body remembers the breakdowns of years past and it happily dumped those extra feelings onto me last week.
So, what am I going to do? My kids have Christmas dreams in their eyes. I have my own standards of wanting to bring the reason for the season to them- and I’m tired. I can feel the creep of burnout coming back in and it scares me.
Good thing I’ve studied this and have been teaching it for years now, right?
Here’s my plan for crawling back out of my Christmas breakdown:
First, I’m resetting my intention to take care of my body. Well-being behaviors tend to be the first thing I let slide to fit in the extra demands of the season. When I do this, I end up making my body work against the junk I’m giving it while asking it to do more. So, I’m refocusing on fruits, veggies, sleep, and exercise. I need physiology on my side.
Next, I’m using the 3 D’s to Hit My Deadlines framework. I teach this in my Even-Achieving workshop. When we’re in too deep and have overcommitted, these 3 questions help us figure out how to hit the most important deadlines without it costing us everything.
The 3 D’s are:
What can I Delete, Delegate, or Downplay?
First, Delete:
What Christmas traditions can I cut out without it being a big deal? There are some that really matter to me and my family and there are some that I’m doing just because I wrote them in a list 10 years ago. We change, grow, and experience different phases of life and it’s better to honor that than hang onto the past. Can I choose a number that fits better with who my family is this year and feels easier to accomplish?
Next, Delegate:
Am I carrying the entire mental load of this season? How can I invite more people into my circle to take charge?
Finally, Downplay:
Where am I trying to go “all out” when “all out” is really not needed? What is the simplest way to bring the magic I’m hoping to see?
After a family meeting, where I apologized for losing it and tearfully asked for help, I found out that my kids are eager to be in charge of just a few traditions. We assigned captains and co-captains for 5 simple traditions. It’s a little cliché, but I felt the weight lift off my shoulders as I literally started sharing the load with my kids. Will the activities be done at the performance level I’m used to? Most likely not. Is that worth it? 100 percent. Christmas is no longer canceled at our house.
Thanks for reading with me today. I hope this helps you survive some of the craziness of this holiday season.
