Reflecting Backward and Dreaming Forward
I’m standing on the edge of a drop off. Literally and figuratively. It’s the last day of the year and I’m standing on a bluff that overlooks the southern Utah town of St. George. As I watch the last sunset of the year, I look to the sky and say thank you for the lessons of the previous year and vocalize the hopes I have for the coming year.
For the last 3 years, this has been my tradition. Because, in 2023, I was reeling from loss and grief and I didn’t know what to do with it. My mom had passed away. I had closed my business. Most of my work friends had moved to different ventures and I was feeling so alone. I was also trying my best to hold on to a fragile hope. I had completed my first semester of my master’s program at Harvard and although the schooling was intense, I at least knew I was in the right place for what was to come next.
The problem was, I was trying to keep one foot in the past while trying to jump into the future and all I was successfully doing was making myself feel split in two. After many sessions with my therapist, we realized I needed a way to build in closure for the year.
Closure used to scare me. I saw it as closing out my options and I am someone who wants to keep her options open. But without closure, I was constantly managing my feelings and expectations for all of the loops I was keeping open. When we leave open loops, we will also keep open the emotional labor (such as hope, disappointment, expectation, and shame) and the mental load (i.e. the tasks that need to get done) open as well. This is one of the ways even good experiences can contribute to burnout. For me, it was a major contributor to my burnout. And it was draining my momentum for any of the new things I wanted to achieve.
I used to only want to close out bad experiences – and usually I wanted to do so by burning something. 😉 But to get the most growth out of a good experience, it needs closure as well. If we just check the box as soon as an experience is done and then jump headlong into the next thing, we lose the opportunity to really mine that experience for the growth and learning that happened during it. I don’t know about you, but I want to get the most out of my experiences.
So, here’s 1 question and 1 action to close 2025 with honor and respect. Also, I have 1 question and 1 action you can use to build momentum for the year to come.
Question 1: What do I need to leave in 2025?
What things are no longer serving you and you need to let go of this year? It could be material possessions, it could be thoughts or attitudes, it could be relationships. Only you will know what.
We don’t need to carry everything with us from year to year. Some things are meant to serve us only for a time. Acknowledge that moment and let yourself move on and change.
If this sounds tough. You’re not alone. If you’re like me, then being told to let go of things that feel special or made me happy can feel like you’re asking me to be disrespectful or callous – even when those things are draining or no longer helping me. Just because you’re letting something go does not mean that you need to stop caring about it or need to feel like it doesn’t matter. We have to find a way to balance those feelings with the fact that we can’t carry all of the things all of the time. We have to find ways to let go of what needs to be let go of.
So, to help with this struggle, I suggest using Marie Kondo’s tidying up method. One of the most powerful things she does while “tidying up” is actively practicing gratitude for the things that no longer spark joy. She holds an item, asks if it sparks joy, and if it doesn’t, she says thank you to it before removing it from her things. What’s cool about this is she’s unknowingly triggering something that psychology has proven to be effective for dealing with the dissonance of these moments. You see, science shows that “positive affect can co-occur with distress.” Meaning, even when something is hard, you can experience positive feelings for it at the same time. The fastest way to trigger those positive feelings? Practicing gratitude. You can show you still care about something while letting it go by actively practicing gratitude for it. When we do so, we engage in positive reappraisal and can infuse ordinary moments with meaning and purpose. All of these things can help us acknowledge the good and the growth while also allowing us to move forward with the closure that we need.
Action 1: Say thank you out loud
As you look at the things you need to let go of this year, take a moment to find a way to vocalize your gratitude for it. Even if the gratitude is something such as “thank you for teaching me I never want to do that again.” 😉
Question 2: What do I want to take with me into 2026?
What are the lessons I learned this year that I want to use to build out my dreams for the coming year? How can I continue to build on my momentum?
After letting go of what needs to stay in the past, don’t forget to honor the growth you want to take with you into the future. Think through your highlights from the year and the things that contributed to that highlight. Breaking down how you got to those big moments can be a great way to discover habits, behaviors, and attitudes you want to bring with you into the new year. Science shows that when we focus on the process and small behaviors that contribute to our goals, our growth is more likely to achieve big outcomes. So, don’t skip the breakdown. What were the little things you did this year that led up to your biggest moments?
Action 2: Reflect back and dream forward.
Wrap up all your thoughts by choosing a single word or short sentence summary for 2025. Then, do the same thing looking forward. Say out loud one hope you have for the new year. Then, write it down somewhere you can see. Use it to start this year with intention. When we balance both reflecting backward and dreaming forward, we create sustainable momentum.
Thanks for reading with me today. I hope you find many reflections from this last year to help you create a wonderful new year. Happy New Year.
Little bonus:
A favorite professor of mine, Bobbi Wegner, taught me powerful ways to adjourn both good and bad experiences. If you want a deeper dive, check out her newsletter here: How to End a Year Well and Build Momentum for 2026 | Groops Insights — Groops
Notes:
Folkman, Susan, and Judith Tedlie Moskowitz. “Positive Affect and the Other Side of Coping.” American Psychologist, vol. 55, 2000, pp. 647–654.
Kondo, Marie. The Life‑Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing. Ten Speed Press, 2014.
Williamson, Ollie, et al. “The Performance and Psychological Effects of Goal Setting in Sport: A Systematic Review and Meta‑Analysis.” International Review of Sport and Exercise Psychology, vol. 17, no. 2, 2024, pp. 1050–1078. Taylor & Francis Online, https://doi.org/10.1080/1750984X.2022.2116723.
