Beyond Deficit: What Difficulty Makes Possible
Two weeks ago, I had two missionaries from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints stop by my house. They had gotten word that I knew American Sign Language and these two young women served Deaf members of the church in my area.
For the next 30 mins, I brushed off language skills I haven’t used in 15 years. You see, I studied ASL in high school and in my undergrad. (If they had approved ASL as a minor, I would have had one). In fact, I did all the training to be an ASL interpreter, but I never took the test to get certified.
While signing with these young women, I was pretty happy with how much of the language I had retained. I love sign. In many ways, my brain thinks in sign. There have been several times when I’m searching for a word to say or write and all I can think of is different ways to sign it.
But even more than the language, I loved learning about Deaf culture and without realizing it, I think the Deaf community was preparing me for some lessons I was going to have with my own family.
You see, in the Deaf community there is little “d” deaf and big “D” deaf. Little “d” deaf simply means you cannot hear. Big “D” Deaf means you are proud of the fact that you are Deaf, and you are fully immersed in Deaf culture.
In 1988, Gallaudet University, a university for the Deaf in Washington DC, needed a new president. There were 2 candidates in the lead. One was hearing and one was deaf. After much deliberation, the board appointed the hearing candidate. The student body was outraged and began a protest that rocked the nation. Shouting “Deaf President Now!” we saw the power of a group of people who had been previously treated as if they could never be enough. They knew they were enough. They knew they were smart. They knew they were talented. They knew they were powerful. And most of all, they knew they wanted a leader who authentically represented them—not just someone who understood them, but someone who had lived as they had. After 4 days, the board relented and approved the Deaf president, Irving King Jordan.
I had the opportunity to visit Gallaudet in high school and to “hear” from Dr Jordan – I say “hear” because although I was watching in sign, I forgot that I wasn’t using my ears. 😉 He jubilantly shared with us, “Deaf people can do anything hearing people can do except hear! We are enough!”
For the next several years, I found myself falling in love with this group of people. They created a language that spoke to my soul, they touched my heart with beautiful art, and they changed my way of thinking simply by being proud of what they could do.
I didn’t realize it then, but it was shaping how I was going to see any form of “disability” for the rest of my life. Instead of seeing a deficit, I see opportunity for innovation, connection, and expression. I’m grateful for what they have taught me as I see my own children receive diagnoses that some may consider a setback – but I simply see it as a different way of viewing the world and I’m excited to see what they create because of it (not despite of it).
As an overachiever, I didn’t realize I was going to need this message too. When I was still in the weeds of trying to recover from burnout, I was complaining to my mentor about how difficult everything had been. She stopped me and said, “there are learnings that come from difficulty that you cannot get any other way. It is your responsibility to mine those lessons.”
That was the turning point in my burnout recovery journey. Instead of seeing all the deficits in my world, I began searching for the lessons and the growth that I could not have gotten any other way. Much like my friends in the Deaf community, I began to be proud of the beautiful things I had created because of the difficulty in my world.
So, for you, when the hard things are threatening to take over, how do you want to react? Will you simply see the limits, or will you adapt and perhaps create something beautiful?
Thanks for reading with me today. I hope you spend some time this week looking at the hard things from another perspective.
