Rest isn’t lazy. You’re just doing it wrong.
In our last article, I shared a powerful reframe for your breaks. When we are proactive about our moments of pause, we can use these as moments to “take aim.” Much like how an archer takes a moment to breathe before shooting their arrow, taking aim makes us much more likely to use our energy efficiently and makes our execution more accurate.
However, taking aim only works if you have been proactive, and it assumes that you have the energy to build momentum. But what about the times when your energy is spent? What is the best way to rest?
Let’s see if we can’t Even-Achieve this…
When we’re talking about “breaks” or “rest” what we’re actually talking about is different forms of coping with the stress of our lives.
In general, there are 2 different forms of coping – active and passive.
“Taking aim” is a form of active coping. Active coping requires a little bit of energy up front, but it tends to pay itself back by making you even better than before.
BUT the key here is that you do have to have the energy to do it.
And sometimes, I don’t have any energy left.
If you’ve had a long day, trying to actively cope yourself into staying productive will be counterproductive. Your body is saying “I need rest and comfort” and you’re trying to tell it, “No you don’t! Keep going!”
In this moment, you’re fighting with yourself.
When we trigger a fight like this, our body responds by flooding itself with cortisol and other stress hormones… effectively stressing ourselves out more. If you’ve been in one of my keynotes or workshops recently, you’ll recognize this as a moment that you are setting yourself up as your own rival. And when you try to “win” against yourself, there is no real winner.
If your energy is depleted and you just want to feel good for a little bit, you need some passive coping. It’s not lazy. It’s restful.
If you ignore your passive coping needs, you might find yourself dreaming about them. In fact, as I’ve done this work, I’ve noticed that when someone is approaching burnout, they tend to fantasize about passive coping opportunities. Such as sitting on a beach with a book and a great drink, going home for the weekend and not talking to a single person, or having a recruiter pop out of nowhere offering you the perfect job far away from here. When we regularly overextend, our bodies send us signals seeking comfort and restitution – and that’s not a bad thing. These are emotional green flags.
So, when these green flags raise, this is not the time to keep pushing through. What you need in that moment is to be your own champion. And champions believe in recovery.
So, how do we Evenly-Achieve our passive coping needs?
Before you address, first asses.
So, let’s say you’re wearing out and you know its time to recharge. Which recharge will work best? First ask, “how much energy do I have right now?”
If you have even a small amount of energy, try a form of active coping first (for instance, I love my 2-breath reset). Sometimes motivation just needs a little spark of movement to get fired up again.
But if you’re completely depleted, be your own best friend and find something that will be comforting – but not damaging. I put this caveat in there because sometimes we think that as long as it feels good, it is helping. But if we pursue feeling good over recovering, it’s actually taking away from our performance capability tomorrow. (Numbscrolling, I’m looking at you).
How to passively cope like a champion
A great way to engage in a healthy passive coping behavior is to identify an activity that is completely different than what you were spending your energy on before. For instance, creative activities and hobbies are really powerful here because they will light up a different part of your brain and let that other part rest and recharge.
So, take a dance break. Walk around outside. Take a nap. Listen to some comedy. Or snuggle up on the couch with a cozy blanket, a cup of tea, and a lighthearted novel. What you want to find is comfort for your brain right now. Don’t just flood it with dopamine. Give it some comfort food that both feels good and feeds it.
This is what productive rest can look like. Let the over functioning parts of your brain recharge while the fun side takes over for a bit. With rest like this, your brain will be ready to be its most productive self again tomorrow.
Thanks for reading with me today. I hope you assess before you address this week and choose the coping method your brain is requesting the most right now.
If you want more on this, check out the conversation I had with Andrew Conover on his podcast, The Uphill Goat.
